Friday, September 30, 2005

RIP my monkey friend


In all the excitement over the Yellow Traffic Light mission, I barely had time to mourn the passing of my poor dear monkey friend. Sadly his poster home at Tooting Bec tube station is no more, the poster's been replaced, and with this he's been scraped from the wall, or smothered over by an inferior poster - however tube poster stickerers work, I really don't know. Though I'd like to, I feel we share a common bond.

I noticed my sad-eyed, brave, little adventurer was gone yesterday morning as I headed to work. His art exhibition poster has been replaced by a nondescript movie poster. I stuck a yellow sticker on a nearby 'Mama Mia' poster nose, but this didn't seem the same. I know that every time I look at that particular yellow sticker nose, I'll think of him.

I don't think he would have wanted me to spend too long feeling down. And perhaps it was fitting tribute that I completed the Yellow Traffic Light mission that same day? Perhaps my little monkey was there in spirit to see those yellow stickers fluttering onto the shoppers.

At least I have a photo to remember him by.

And if I blow this photo up and print it out I can sticker him up on a new poster home at Tooting Bec station tomorrow morning!

Forget RIP! My monkey's not dead, he's just missing in action. The battle of monkey nose continues. And adventure will be the victor!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

The fourth sticker option

My mission to infiltrate the 'Traffic Light Dating' event at the Plaza Shopping Centre at 6pm, was somewhat hampered by the fact that I was supposed to be in Upper Tooting at 6pm to pick up my daughter from a schoolfriend's house.

This wouldn't matter so much if the schoolfriend's family were people I knew well, then I could just explain that I had to distribute adventure stickers to people looking for love, and so might be a bit late.

As a fulltime working Mum, I'm rarely at school to pick up my daughter so I find it quite tricky to arrange schoolfriend visits for her. So I was proud of myself for wangling a tea invitation to this particular little boy's house. Especially as it meant I had some time after work to complete the Yellow Traffic Light mission.

It was my daughter's first visit to this family, so I wasn't sure how it would go; but I didn't think it would be a big deal if I rang up and said I'd be a little late to pick her up. I don't like lying to people, but I decided not to explain the real reason I'd be late. I muttered something about 'work' and so at 5.50pm I told them I was heading home now and would be there in about half an hour to pick her up.

Well it is approximately 30 minutes from Oxford Circus to Balham. Then I could head straight to Oxford Circus tube station; which is only about a 5 minute walk from the Plaza. And then I'd get the tube south to Balham, and it's only about 7 minutes from Balham to Upper Tooting.

I hoped the Traffic Light Dating thing might start early.

At 5.55pm there was still no sign of the Traffic Light people and their stickers. I couldn't even see anyone getting ready for the sticker distribution process, whatever that process might be.

I realised I didn't have a very clear plan how to get my yellow IWAA stickers available as a fourth option for the daters. I hadn't made plans as this really did depend on the sticker distribution methods used by the organisers.

I was hoping there'd be a big, unsupervised, central bucket full of the red, amber and green stickers. Then it would be easy to add my 300 yellow stickers to the sticker vessel. There were supposed to be 450 IWAA stickers, but I got bored of cutting them up and thought 300 would probably be enough.

If there was a central sticker tub I couldn't see it. Not at 6pm. Nor at 6.05pm. I couldn't even see any sign of anyone wearing any coloured stickers. There were a lot of people hanging around. Quite a few young men on their own, some were even quite handsome. Although I was only interested in one thing when I looked at these handsome blokes - why weren't they wearing any stickers? Frustratingly I had plenty of stickers that they could wear, but how to get my stickers into circulation? It was 6.10pm and I still didn't have any clue.

At this point I started to worry about my daughter. I try my best to be a good mother and I do put my daughter's well being above any silly adventure plans. I knew she was safe and probably enjoying herself, but this was her first visit to this schoolfriend, and what would his parents think if her mum was an hour late collecting her due to a sticker dating mission? I imagined that she was either having great fun, but I would ruin it for her and she'd never be invited again due to my adventuring lateness; or else she was miserable and crying to go home to a Mum she saw little enough of at the best of times.

I decided to ask a friend to pick her up. But when I called there was no answer. I wondered whether I should just quit the Yellow Traffic Light mission?

I was standing on the first floor balcony in the Plaza, near the food court, and from there I had a very good view of all the shoppers below. And at 6.12pm I finally saw someone wearing an amber sticker! I decided to have a look around to see where this 'maybe' lady could have found her sticker. The amber sticker was just a large plain circle, I wasn't very impressed. Just a plain coloured sticker, no text at all. Mine said 'I want an adventure. Do you?' This one didn't even say 'I want a date'. Or for amber, actually, it should be, 'I may want a date.'

My yellow 'I want an adventure' stickers were certainly much superior. Plus this Traffic Light Dating event was obviously badly run. I wanted a sticker, actually all 3, but there was no obvious place to get them. My tube poster nose stickering was obviously much better organised.

I had thought of simply leaving piles of yellow stickers available so that shoppers could help themselves if they wanted. But I'd really hoped to make it obvious that the stickers were connected to the dating event, not just randomly publicising my email address.

By 6.13pm I realised that many of the confused single people who'd turned up for the dating, must, like me, be wondering where their coloured stickers actually were? Perhaps it was a bonus that the Traffic Light Dating organisers were so disorganised? All these people who couldn't find love could now turn to adventure instead! Just in terms of stickers obviously; it's only me who's taken this idea any further.

At 6.14pm I wandered through the shopping center, busy with my bag of stickers. I left stickers on phone booths, stickers on food court tables, stickers on shelves in clothing shops, I even, cheekily, put my stickers in the 'Traffic Light Dating' leaflet dispensers. I felt sure people would be visiting these to see if the start time really was 6pm.

At 6.18pm I took a big handful of all my remaining yellow stickers, and threw a few hundred stickers from the balcony into the shopping center hall below. The pretty yellow stickers fluttered satisfyingly downwards. The surprised shoppers looked up, wondering, 'What's going on?'

I would have liked to have stayed to see those stickers hit the ground, to see if anyone picked one up, or even stuck it onthemselves whilst thinking 'Adventure? Yes please!'

But I had to go. I made my way out of the Plaza down the stairs in the UniQlo shop, and quickly back to Oxford Circus and then to Upper Tooting. My daughter had had a great time, and didn't want to leave. Her schoolfriends' parents said could she come again soon, and not to worry that I'd been late.

As we walked home my daughter said 'I'm bored,' so I gave her a yellow sticker to stick on the poster nose of a boy at bus shelter. That cheered her up. I understood why. Poster nose stickering is really very good fun; but throwing and scattering and fluttering stickers is an amazing feeling. Perhaps she'll try it one day and understand?

'When I grow up I want to be an adventurer.'

Today, I think I came a ittle closer to that dream.

Yellow Traffic Lights

It's three months since I split up with my long term partner, and I'm certainly not looking for love. I don't have plans to date, I don't even want to think about another relationship. I don't need to think about love.

I was going to see a movie after work, but had some time to kill before it started so I wandered by the Plaza shopping centre. Everywhere there were posters and leaflets about a 'Traffic Light Dating' event. The idea was that the Thursday late night shopping customers would be given stickers, 'Red for no, amber for maybe, or green for go, go, go!'

As I said I didn't want to think about relationship issues, let alone be forced to make a decision about my love life while I was out shopping. But while you're asking..? Was I a 'yes, a no, or a maybe?' I wasn't sure. If I wasn't a 'yes' or 'no' you might assume I'd be a 'maybe', but I don't agree.

I feel like a 'Yes' in that I miss having someone so much it drives me crazy, but then I feel like a 'No' because I don't want to be crazy, so I have to firmly tell myself 'No'. I'm certainly not a 'maybe', that implies a take it or leave it attitude, but I feel too strongly to just go with the flow. I'm either an out of control 'Yes', or an in control 'No' and I can't be a wavering, inbetween, 'maybe.'

I split up with someone I loved, and I couldn't imagine finding a better person, yet despite all this I was unhappy when I was with him. Somehow I wanted more. Explain that? More what? What did I want... see this blog title? And yes, I know this paragraph isn't a great selling point for the sanity of my 'I want an adventure' philosophy.

The movie I decided to see was Pride and Preducice, which was strange, it wasn't the sort of film I'd go to normally. What was I doing wanting to see an idealistic romantic film? Romantic ideals were surely only hurtful to me in my present state. A friend said he'd come along too, and I told him I wanted to go on my own. Why did I say that? He's a good guy, and I'm hardly in the position to spurn the company of friends.

And why, why, why half way through this predictable, but enjoyable movie, did I start thinking about my silly website? I started to think about the web address vs email address sticker problem, and what I should say in reply to my would-be adventurers's emails. Then I realised that this wasn't what I wanted IWAA to be, dull management deicisions and administrative problems. I really wanted to do something! IWAA! So I started planning my next mission.

I admired the 'Traffic Light Dating' event for its imaginative use of stickers. As you know I like stickers. So I respect the Plaza shopping center's creative use of stickering for it's marketing campaign. Even though I really hated being pinned down to a choice of Red, Yellow, or Amber love options. Surely there should be something more?

So I decided to give Plaza shopping centre customers a fourth choice. They could also choose yellow. My 'IWAA' stickers would be available as an alternative sticker option at the Plaza Shopping Center at 6pm on Thursday.

It also solved the problem of how to get red of 450 stickers before switching to ones with a web address listed.

I'll probably be the only one at the 'Traffic Light' night with a confused display of all four stickers - red, green, amber and yellow. But I really think that sums up my feelings right now.

Yes, no, maybe, or adventure? And what is an adventure anyway? Finding love? Don't be silly.

I've considered what 'an adventure' might mean a lot, and I still don't know. But I haven't really considered why I want one.

Maybe it would be more appropriate for me to wear a large yellow sticker on my chest? A yellow IWAA sticker that completely blocks out those red, green and amber options. I'd like to say I wouldn't wear any of those silly dating stickers at all, but when it comes down to it I know I won't be able to stop myself taking their red, green and amber stickers. Nothing to do with thinking about love at all of course. I don't think about it, as I said. I'll only take them because I really do like stickers.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Stickers 0


Yesterday was a day of 0 stickers stuck, and yet again I was too chicken to check my IWAA inbox. I've wondered if I should write these entries Bridget Jones style, with stickers and emails replacing her calorie and cigarette count? I could do weight and alcohol units too perhaps, but they really don't effect my mood half as much as stickers and emails.

Today as I headed to work I saw that 3 of the Tooting Bec station IWAA stickers had been removed. They'd all been torn quite roughly from their posters in what seemed a vindictive assault; each of the posters now had a large white roughly shaped paper nose. But I was pleased to see that at least my little monkey friend's nose was still in good shape.

This cheered me up quite a bit, I felt like I'd surely won the battle of monkey nose. Which was much more important to me than the battle of Saturday Night Fever nose. Whoever was removing my stickers would have to admit defeat with my monkey, as I said before I will stick and stick and stick... That monkey's nose would be a yellow sticker forever. Or at least until the art exhibition was over, and then he'd no doubt be smothered with another poster, or even scraped off the wall. Poor little chap. At least he'd led a short life filled with meaning. Only to me, but still.

Spurred on by my monkey's cheeky nose I stickered quite a bit on the way to work, and now I'm getting bolder with my efforts. I used to only stick when I was sure no one was looking. Now if a stranger might see me stick, that's ok. Maybe one day I'll even stick in full public view? Or even stick on a real nose of an unsuspecting stranger? Wow!

I passed McDonald's on Oxford Street and stuck a sticker on their Toasted Deli Sandwich poster. I know this isn't a nose, but sandwiches don't have noses. I've decided I'm expanding the stickering rules now. It's now OK to stick stickers on poster noses or sandwiches (Only posters sandwiches not real ones.) I told you I'm making up the rules as I go along.

So today was a good stickering day. My Bridget Jones entry would include the following.

Wednesday September 28th

Stickers 9 (v.g) emails 3 (excellent!)

And when I braved that email inbox it was great to see positive emails from all three of my would be adventurers!

INAV made a suggestion about putting the web address on my stickers. I had considered this before, but when I had the stickers printed I didn't have a website. I printed the stickers online on a whim in July. This would be my Bridget Jones style entry on this day.

Monday July 18

119 lbs, alcohol units 10 (pissed), cigarettes 0 (don't smoke), calories 3100 (pizza!) Emails 1 (I tested my .com email address and I can now redirect to Hotmail!) Stickers 500 (ordered with optimism.)

On this sticker ordering date I hadn't got my .com website working. But I do now. I was so proud when I figured out how to do a redirect to iwantanadventure.blogger.com. The key was not writing http:// twice in the 'redirect to' address section.

So now I could print stickers with this web address, but still wondered do I really want would-be adventurers to read my depressive rantings? Surely it would just put people off?

Plus I still have around 450 stickers that have just the email address listed. What do i do with those?

I'll have to have a think. Maybe ask my monkey friend's advice? He comes across quite well in these posts and he'll probably want his three minutes of fame. Before the sad wall scraping end.

So nice were my would-be-adventurers emails that I even felt quite positive about the removed stickers. Just maybe they'd been removed by people who wanted an adventure? Perhaps they'd been removed by would-be-adventurers who wanted to be sure of the email address and so they'd pocketed the sticker? After all this is what INAV had done, and he's turned out to be a great adventuring ally. Although I should point out that the Tooting Bec monkey is still clearly second in command.

So all in all Wednesday, September 28th was a good day. Here's my full diary entry.

Wednesday, September 28th

119 lbs (approx), alcohol units 2 (excellent), cigarettes 0 (I still don't smoke), calories 2900 (falafel) stickers 9 (very good), Emails 3 (all good ones, still need to reply.)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Because sandwiches are important

As I headed to work today I looked at the other passengers on the tube train, wondering if any one of these people would like an adventure. I know you're not supposed to judge people by appearances, but I forgot to pick up a Metro. I was bored.

I wondered, 'Would she like an adventure?' 'Would he?' For every single one of these fellow passengers my guess was a decisive 'No'.

I imagined them answering my 'Do you want an adventure?' question with, 'Nah, I'm busy', or 'Life's complicated enough' or 'My job's a challenge, leave me alone', or 'I don't have the time', or 'that would be silly', or 'Adventure? I doubt it... and what do you mean by adventure anyway?'

No wonder I wasn't getting any IWAA mail. Rather than getting down about this, I decided that those who wanted adventure were a special breed, an exclusive club. At the moment I'm in an exclusive club of one. I'm really very special!

Well I had to think that, or else I'd just give up and cry.

Something's been stuck in my head for the last few days, a new McDonald's TV ad ending with the statement, 'Because sandwiches are important.'

When I heard the guy enjoying McDonalds sandwich say this, I couldn't quite believe it. 'Because sandwiches are important?'

Was this serious?

Maybe it was supposed to be ironic? In which case, well done McDonalds, because I found this statement highly amusing.

A new 'Subway' shop has just opened round the corner from our office. I've never tried a Subway sandwich before. In honour of the McDonalds ad, and because it was likely to be the closest to adventure I'd get today, I decided to try a Subway sandwich for my lunch. Just for a change.

I don't know why I didn't think of trying something from the new McDonalds toasted deli range? Actually I do, I'd had one once before.

In actual fact I forgot about my Subway sandwich resolution and went to Starbucks in my lunch hour. At Starbucks I can sit down with my laptop and write this blog. Plus I like their mochas. No cream, thank you.

I had a sandwich too. Only I don't think that's important.

I don't think sandwiches are important at all. Do you really think I regret missing that Subway eating debut? Sandwiches are just a lunch, and an unimaginitive one at that. I wouldn't stop to think if McDonald's hyped it's sandwiches as delicious, or unique, or special in any way. But that word 'important' rankles.

I know big businesses use advertising bullshit all the time, and like most people I feel immune to it's ridiculousness. I don't care when companies spend millions claiming their products will change your life. These claims are plainly untrue; and I'm used to their harmless lies. But 'important'? A sandwich? This was taking the bullshit too far!

Important should mean love or hate, happiness, sadness, life or death, passion of some sort... If McDonalds claimed any or all of these things for it's snack then I wouldn't object. But they don't, they claim a sandwich is important. As if this dull snack is enough, is an end in itself.

I admit a sandwich is a convenient and simple way to satisfy a basic need.

So sandwiches are important? Sure. Because what's important is the simple satisfaction of our basic needs...

This McDonald's ad tells us what matters is apathy and no imagination.

I don't care if companies spend millions telling me oven chips will drive me crazy with joy, or that some shampoo will make me fantastic in bed; but please don't spend fortunes convincing me that all there is to life is something with nothing very special going for it. I really don't want to buy that.

The glorifying of this easy lunchtime fuel suggests a five minute munch is the best way to make the world a better place. What's the meaning of life? Sandwiches!

No. No way. What's the meaning of life? I don't know. So what's important? I know what I think. I know what I want. And it's not a fucking sandwich.

Enjoy your lunch.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Recluses Anonymous

There are many reasons why my inbox isn't full of people claiming 'I want an adventure!' Too many reasons to list. But I refuse to believe that it's because people don't actually want adventure. That would be too sad. I'm not ready to believe that quite yet, so I'm going to keep the faith and keep stickering on the Northern Line.

I am prepared to believe that it's 'personal', that people don't want to email me about their adventuring needs, that is quite understandable. I don't know how I'd respond to a badly printed yellow sticker, and a website created by someone who clearly doesn't have much of a clue what she's doing. But my personal favourite theory for the lack of adventuring interest, is that it's all down to the colour of this page. I believe that when I pick the perfect adventuring colour for the web site design, choose a colour that just shouts out 'I want an adventure!' then the emails will start flooding in. I know that this greyish green is a long, long way from a perfect 'adventuring' colour. But I've fiddled around for an hour at Colormatch.dk/ and also tried to master the mysteries of template style sheets, then I realised 'this is my day off, this isn't any fun.' Plus I have a Tax Credits form to fill in, and need to get to the dry cleaners... See what an inspirational life I lead as a would-be-adventurers group leader?

Maybe I should change the title from 'I want an adventure!' to 'I need an adventure!' I do, I really do.

There must be other people out there who are in a rut, or have no time for doing something out of the ordinary? I admit I started this website because I was sad and lonely and lacking something in my life. I admit it would probably be easier just to take Jesus into my heart. I was quite tempted when that crazy guy at Oxford Circus started shouting 'Are you a sinner or are you a winner!' so enthusiastically. But then I just started to wonder would it qualify as an 'adventure' if I ever dared to shout at strangers in the street?

Perhaps it's put people off that I'm so open about my failings and my far from perfect life? If I were to shout in the street I wonder what I'd say? 'I have a sad and empty life and think doing something ridiculous might make me feel alive!' Maybe. I still can't help feeling that could be a worthwhile thing to shout. Is the message of that bible-basher at Oxford Circus so much more logical?

My life might not be so great right now, and I admit I'm not 'the type' to organise anything like this. And if IWAA fails this won't make things any easier.

I did once before try to set up a similar self help group. I wanted to help people like me who were shy, had no friends, and stayed home far too much. So I set up 'Recluses Anonymous.'

No one even came the first meeting. I got cold feet and didn't turn up either. 'If you didn't turn up yourself, how do you know no if anyone was there?' you're probably thinking. Let me explain. I was organising the group so had to attend to put out a plate of biscuits. I arrived to do this on the second week and found the first week's biscuits still there, untouched and slightly stale, the neatly stacked teacups untouched. I replaced the biscuits and left. I was obviously too upset to stay and join my fellow recluses for a group hug. By the third week, with the Rich Teas yet again uneaten, I decided enough was enough, I ate the replacement pack of biscuits all by myself (I didn't eat the stale ones) and decided I was wasting my time trying to help these shy no-hopers who were too ungrateful to even appreciate my nice biscuits, or the Rich Tea ones either. If any one turned up on week four they'd just have to buy their own biscuits.

I only hope IWAA doesn't end the same way.

Do you like biscuits?

Sunday, September 25, 2005

I was only joking...

...about giving Bronwin an adventure involving displaying thrush remedies to the public on Oxford Street. I sometimes worry that my IWAA plans could be jeapordised by a lack of seriousness on my part. Adventures to me might include missions that are flippant, or even downright silly (I've come up with some really cool flippant missions!!!) but to other people adventures might only mean missions that are dangerous, challenging and heroic. I think some of my silly missions may include elements of heroism and danger, but 'running a lucky dip shop' may not be everyone's idea of a proper adventure. Which is why I don't want to be the one deciding what an adventure is. This has to be about more than me and my idea of adventure. You probably know by now I don't know what 'adventure' means in any case.

I've written to the three would-be-adventurers I've heard from so far, and asked them to try to come up with an adventure idea each. The plan is to have a sort of adventure exchange. People submit an adventuring idea, I add them to my mission database, handily scribbled on a scrap of paper next to my PC, and then I'll try to match a suitable mission to each would-be-adventurer. That's the plan for now anyway. But I am just making all this up as I go along, so it may well change.

And I really like 'I'm Not A Virgin's police moving along idea. I think this could be fun and exciting. These are surely requirements of any good adventure!

However this mission does seem like an adventure for a group, a 'band of would-be-adventurers'. This started out as just me saying 'I want an adventure!' So when I thought about the IWAA idea I imagined lonely, unfulfilled people - people like me - emailing me because they wanted a challenge; so that they could find a little bit of excitement to fill their dull spare time. But would-be-adventurer Sukh, mentioned that he'd like to meet likeminded adventurous people. And I can see that being part of a band of adventurers might be quite fun. Using IWAA to get together with other lonely, unfulfilled, but yet adventurous people, seems like a nice idea. I just hadn't thought of it. As I said I'm making all this up as I go along.

Sukh also seemed quite put off by the Thames Swim. In fact, in an attempt to wriggle out of getting wet myself, when he wrote to me in July saying 'I want an adventure' I sent him my first mission. I didn't want to do it, and my thinking was that as long as someone accomplishes it, does it matter who. As long as the result is obtained by some adventurous soul, that will be good enough for me (And I make up these rules! as I go along...) So I was hoping Sukh would send me a picture with him swimming in the Thames with the London Eye in the background, then I could easily send this photo to the anonymous challenger who gave me this wonderful mission in the first place. But it was not to be.

He said he didn't want this kind of adventure, which also makes me realise that I should be sensitive to all would-be adventurers needs. I really wouldn't mind at all if people wrote in and said 'I want an adventure - but just an easy one'. Or even 'I want an adventure but I live in a small village in Albania, and I'm partially sighted and agrophobic, can you find me an adventure suited to my special adventuring needs?' Any and all 'I want an adventure' emails are very welcome. Believe me.

At least now I have a start, with one mission (thank you INAV) so it might be best if people wrote in and said 'I want an adventure, and I'd like to be part of a group meeting up to do something silly in Central London.'

As it stands it would be quite a small band of adventurers, particularly as Sukh has said he doesn't want any adventure that takes place in public.

I should point out that I have used the names of Sukh, and Bronwen, and INAV on this website, without asking them if I could do this first. I did think of changing their names to protect their privacy. I thought I could change INAV to IAAV? But then I figured that in the whole of London (the UK?(the World?)) there must be an awful lot of Sukh's and Bronwen's and INAV's so their confidentiality is in this way protected. They'd be a lot more protected if their names were Tom or Sarah or Rob. But it's not my fault that strangely named folk are attracted to my adventure website. At least I don't have a silly name. But I'm protecting my own confidentiality, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Would you like a bag for that?

Today is a special day, the day I came to believe that someone besides myself wants an adventure! Yesterday I quickly wrote a post about monkey noses, and even had a fairly busy stickering day, but I still had a lot of doubts about this whole adventure venture. Which meant I didn't check my email inbox, or even look to see if anyone had left a comment on a previous post. Recently when I've looked and found no new mail and 0 comments I've been demoralised. To be honest it's got to the stage where some days I don't even have the courage to log into Hotmail. Call myself an adventurer? Well no, actually I call myself a 'would-be-adventure'. If I knew what an adventure was it might be different.

My monkey nose sticker was still in place this morning which cheered me up no end. And so today I braved my IWAA inbox, and guess what? 'I want an Adventure' said Bronwin! She then said. 'What do you mean by an adventure?' Good question, annoying, but good. And finally 'What do I do now?' Er, right...

I then noticed the comment from 'No Longer A Virgin'. He wants an adventure too! He has ideas for some adventures! Plus he says he'll help with the stickering! Wow!

Well he is a student, probably has a lot of time on his hands.

Thanks 'No Longer A Virgin' and I will be in touch. So now that I've found a couple of would-be-adventurers, the next stage of my plan should begin in earnest! Er, right...

A lot of personal and upsetting-ish stuff has been going on in my life recently. Sorry but I couldn't go into personal stuff on a public web page. But right now IWAA feels like a good 'something to do', something to take my mind off all of this. It's distracting, totally unserious, and yet still feels like it has the potential to be meaningful and optimistic. Surely adventures, if you can ever attempt to define them, must be in some way life affirming and inspirational?

Yet still it seems like it could go very wrong. I mean, take swimming in the Thames? When I did that it was the ultimate in distraction from a fucked up life. When I was hanging on to the side of that boat, not for one second was I feeling sad, or lonely, or worried about where the rent was coming from. It made me strangely proud. It was both silly but bold, and although I failed, I failed because I realised that my fucked up life meant a lot to me; although it was also because I thought it would be embarrassing to be drifting down the Thames clutching onto a John Lewis float.

I can see the positives in attempting the Thames 'Mission' but the bottom line is I failed at this, and when I think about that I know I need to try it again. But swimming in the Thames near the London Eye is both tricky and very scarey. I'm not plagued by sleepless nights worrying about river dangers, I don't spend ages trying to come up with clever plans, but my real problem is that I worry that the trickiness and scariness might lead to it never happening. I might fail through inertia, and then feel even worse about my fucked up life. So in many ways my 'first mission' doesn't make me feel good at all.

IWAA could go that way too, I could fail with this, fail Bronwin and NLAV, and anyone else who hopes to find an adventure from somebody who doesn't even know what an adventure is. For now I don't think I need to worry too much, I can mindlessly sticker, and I have a vague sort of plan for Bronwen and the none-virgin. And my plan hasn't failed yet, at least.

I thought I might have been feeling negative today because I'd had too little sleep last night, and because I was working today, and I hate working Saturdays. I decided to go to Boots in my lunch hour. I was feeling run down so I pinned my hopes on something from the vitamins aisle to revive my adventurous spirit. (I know. Sad, isn't it? If I was a cooler person I'd do the drugs that Boots don't sell.) I was excited by 'Neurozan' a special compound to maintain brain function. Aha! I thought, would-be-adventurers need to be clear thinking and clever. Then I saw Eye Q a supplement designed for improved vision. I could do with better eyes! 'Cardioace' was designed to help maintain a healthy heart and circulation. Yes please! Adventurers need a strong and Brave heart. Mel Gibson was an adventurer I'm sure. There was Jointace too, for the maintenance of healthy joints. I need a supple body I thought; adventurers might need to do some physical stuff. Although I personally hoped to avoid the parachute jump and rafting side of things. So I had my basket stacked full of adventuring vitamins, unfortunately it looked like it was going to set my back around £50. Then I noticed the small print, 'Not to be taken in conjunction with any other vitamin supplements.' There was a dilemma, did I want a healthy mind, or eyes, or heart or supple limbs? Tough choice. I returned the 'Jointace' quickly to the shelf. Still big choices with the rest... Too tough. I put all the vitamins back. Instead I revived my adventurous spirit by simply leaving a 'Please stick me' set of stickers amongst the 'Pregnacare' supplements. And personally I think it's shocking that pregnant women are forced to choose between the health of their unborn child and having a decent mind, heart, eyes, or supple limbs! And did I even mention the Tan Optimizer supplement?

I ended up buying just one item from Boots, and I mention this even though I don't think this product will be of widespread use to most would-be-adventurers. As I handed my money the assistant asked, 'Would you like a bag for that?'

I felt my pocket with concern, wondering whether I had an IWAA sticker hanging out, as I often do. This seemed a likely explanation for this shop assistant assuming I was the sort of person who's unfazed by threats of public ridicule.

'Yes, I'd like a bag' I told him firmly. I really didn't want to walk down Oxford Street with a Canestan Thrush Pessary in full public view. (Did I say I don't go into personal stuff on a public web page? Ooops...)

Oh well, it did make me wonder whether walking down Oxford Street boldly displaying your thrush pessary wasn't some sort of adventure in itself?

Bronwin does need her first mission.

Friday, September 23, 2005

The battle continues!


Possibly my fault for describing it as a 'battle', when it was actually just a minor, isolated incident. It was. Not any more. They've done it again! The monkey nose poster sticker has yet again been removed.

The relevant poster is at the very far end of the platform at Tooting Bec tube station. I head here purely in order to make an easy change at the Victoria line at Stockwell. It means I'm at the right end of the platform for the exit at Oxford Circus. I could speculate that whoever is removing the monkey nose stickers is making a similar use of the Victoria line? It's possible they too exit at Oxford Circus. Although in tracking down my anti-adventure adversory with this line of enquiry I'd need to research the exit positions of other stations on the Victoria, and Northern lines, plus all other intersecting tube lines.

I stuck another yellow sticker on the poor poster monkey. I suspect he must be getting confused now, and a bit fed up of his nose being treated in this way. At least he would if he was real. It's actually a very good thing that he's not. Poor little mite.

I hope the IWAA sticker's still there in the morning, but if not I won't give up! This is a battle now - and I won't be defeated! I'm going to stick, and stick, and stick; until I realise that this whole adventure thing is a very stupid idea. I probably should have realised that already?

But I was feeling pugnacious as I headed to work, so I also stuck a yellow IWAA sticker on the Up escalator at Oxford Circus tube, right on top of one of the many chewing gum noses! Escalator stickering is quite a tricky skill I can tell you, those escalators move at quite a pace. You should try it! Really. I mean it.... I have lots of stickers! Please... (My email address is on the right.)

I also placed some 'Please stick me stickers' around Oxford Street in my lunch break. On some of these stickers, as well as written instructions I also drew diagrams regarding the proper poster nose placement of these stickers. I hope this will help.

I also distributed some of these as I shopped at Sainsbury's after work. I placed some amongst the ready meal shepherd's pies, also amongst the special offer frozen pizzas, plus one in the pages of a Suduko book. I didn't think these were the sort of places that adventurous people might be, but I put them here because I thought they might be found by the sort of people who needed adventures. I think would-be-adventurers should be do-gooders, and IWAA should hope to be a charitable enterprise. I also bought a special offer frozen pizza. So I think I located the stickers well as I am obviously my own target market. (I hope this 'target market' isn't just me.)

Sadly I still haven't seen an IWAA sticker that hasn't been stuck by me. Although there was some chewing gum on a different monkey nose poster at Stockwell tube station. But please, whoever you are, if you're reading this and chewing gumming instead of stickering... And this is important. Please understand this is about Adventures not chewing gum! And monkeys aren't supposed to have much to do with it all either. Although that chewing-gum-nose-stickerer certainly is a cheeky one.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

The Battle of Monkey Nose

I know I shouldn't judge my self worth by the number of yellow stickers I stick on tube poster noses, but at the moment this is what I do. Today was a very bad day. One of the IWAA stickers stuck on poster noses at Tooting Bec tube station had been removed. A sticker on a monkey nose, stuck on a poster for a Tate Modern art exhibition, had been unstuck. It was only the second IWAA sticker I'd ever dared to stick.

I had to face the sad truth that not only had I failed to sticker for two whole days, but now the stickers I had stuck succesfully were being taken away from me. The little monkey's sad eyes stared at me from that art poster, it was as if his dull staring eyes said, 'This is it. Who wants an adventure anyway? There is no adventure. This is all there is.' And the lady with the joined together eyebrows was no help at all either.


It says a lot about my state of mind at the moment that in the last few weeks many days have gone by without any tube poster noses getting stickers at all. In fact as I head to work, and travel up the up escalator at Oxford Circus station, I often reflect that there are more bits of chewing gum on the poster noses besides that one tube escalator, than IWAA stickers on poster noses throughout the whole of London.

I must admit that the boldness needed to decorate noses doesn't come easily to me. Although I have developed some sneaky sticking tactics. I'll sometimes position a sticker at the ready, hidden behind my Metro paper, and as the tube train arrives and people are busy getting on and off, I'll quickly 'stick and run'. A quick nose stick and then I'll hurry on to the train, sometimes too late to get a seat, but nonetheless satisfied and happy for a while. Until I realise it's much harder to read the Metro standing up.

I don't know why I'm so concerned about being seen stickering, I think maybe I'm more scared of public ridicule than getting arrested. Although I have heard it said that 'Bill Posters will be prosecuted'. Don't worry I won't do the Bill Posters joke. Although Bill did recently write in to suggest that 'a poker game outside the Houses of Parliament' might be a cool adventure to organise. I know, I said I'd stop it with the made up people.

But due to my lack of stickering productivity it's unfortunately true that made up people are still my own allies. It could be that sad little monkey eyes is right, maybe it's not a lack of stickers to be seen, or poor sticker design, or an off putting web page design... Maybe no one actually does want an adventure? Except me. Maybe I should just save myself effort and the prospect of future heartbreak and just hit 'delete' on this blog right now. Maybe I should just give up on stickering those bright yellow circles on poster noses. Maybe this is all a very silly idea.

I can't force people to have adventures. Nor can I can convince anyone that 'silly' might be quite good for a change.

I wondered who had removed my yellow sticker? Perhaps an art fan, or a member of the tube staff? When they removed it, I wondered did they, just for a second, think, 'Adventure? What's that?' Or 'Adventure. Well maybe one day...?' Or were they as dull and spiritless as that poor monkey and the eyebrow-lady?

I didn't bother with the Metro and the stick and run tactic. I got an IWAA sticker out in full public view, and soon the monkey's nose was good again. His eyes were still sad, but at least his nose was very silly. And that gave me my one smile on an otherwise quite dreary day.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Chewing Gum Noses...

I was disappointed as I headed to work today to see that the first ever IWAA I'd placed, on a tube poster nose on an escalator at Tooting Bec station, was now inaccessible to the public. This was because the whole escalator had been sealed off with yellow 'No entry' ribbons, and 'Danger' signs. I thought this was a bit excessive - I only stuck up a little sticker!

As I neared the bottom of the stairs I was looked over at the posters and was sad to realise that my first ever IWAA sticker had also been torn from the poster. Leaving some poor 'Chicago' actor with a badly torn nose.

I was disheartened, but hoped I might be cheered by seeing an unexpected IWAA sticker on the way to work. I hoped people might have found the stickers I'd left around London and followed the 'Please stick me' instructions. Maybe I'd see a few poster noses stickered? But it was not to be. I didn't see any IWAA stickers.

However as I travelled up the 'Up' escalator at Oxford Circus I was amazed to see that nearly every poster nose had been decorated... with chewing gum!

I didn't know what this meant. Was the chewing gum nose stickerer mocking me? Was this a cry for help, an act of support? Or an unusual mass desire to disgard chewing gum before leaving the tube station?

Seeing all those chewing gum noses really brightened my day, but how I wish they had been IWAA stickers!

Susy Stilton wrote in today and said 'Can I stick some stickers up for you?' No, not really. I must stop doing this making up people thing...

But if you're willing and able to decorate poster noses with 'I want an adventure' stickers then please let me know. They are ready-gummed, but you can use chewing gum to stick them if you prefer.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Questions...

A busy day of tube poster nose sticker-ing, not to mention leaving several sets of stickers lying around with 'Please stick me' notes, so that other people can do my job for me... I mean spread the word.

I haven't found anyone who wants an adventure yet, but I have had a couple of emails with questions and suggestions. 'C.Hooch' wanted to know if you could submit an adventure idea for someone without wanting an adventure yourself. And I say 'Yes, of course!' He suggested 'Finding a missing person'. Debbie Gibbs, of Balham, asked whether groups of friends could apply to have an adventure too. I told her I thought this was a very good idea.

Beagleboy also wished me luck, but told me he didn't think he was cut out for danger or leaving his sofa. I said, 'Thanks', and also 'never mind.' However I do want to reassure everybody that adventures don't have to be physically strenuous in any way. My all time adventuring hero is Mr.Benn and not Sir Ranulph Fiennes or Edmund Hillary.

So as well as daring stunts I think a good adventure could just as easily be something quite silly, like the one suggested by Jizzy, 'How about organising a treasure hunt on Oxford Street with a box of Milk Tray as the prize?' Thank you for sharing that, Jizzy.

It's no good, I can't do this... I'm actually 'Jizzy', and 'C.Hooch', and there isn't really any 'Debbie Gibbs of Balham', and I made up that fat coach potato 'Beagleboy' too. I didn't get any emails, alright?

I know it's early days, but I haven't got one single adventure suggestion yet, let alone any would be adventurers. But I just wanted to write something... It's like magazines that launch a first issue yet still have a 'Letters Page', they just make the letters up at first. Problem pages do this too, even when they're quite established. Perhaps with stuff like, 'Dear Aunt Aggie, I make up emails from strangely named people on my blog...' And perhaps writing to Aunt Aggie would be a better use of my time than writing here? Except I can't write to her. She isn't real!

So anyway please write in. Tell me who your adventuring heroes are. I know I'm talking to myself here, that's ok... (Keep pretending you have real readers.) Write in to send me your adventure ideas, or even say 'I want an adventure!' Go on! Go on! Please..!

Monday, September 12, 2005

The Stickers

I printed some yellow 'I want an adventure! Do you?' stickers. So that I can help people who want adventures find this website, and hopefully get adventuring. They weren't a very nice design, but I did it online and it was all completely automated and very cheap. I'm broke and far too embarassed to go to a proper printers, so the automated cheap online printers was very handy for me.

I put the first one up today, on a tube poster nose at Tooting Bec station. I've noticed that somebody, I'm guessing it's just one person and not a team or organised group, keeps putting chewing gum on poster noses at tube stations, particularly tube poster noses by the sides of the escalators. I keep seeing their handiwork wherever I go, and well done to them for their prolific endeavours! They were my inspiration. So I'm going to do my best to put 'IWAA' stickers on as many tube poster noses as I can find. Although this evening the thought struck me that there aren't many tubes posters outside London, and yet people outside London might also like to have adventures. So I'm going to make that 'poster noses' and not just 'tube poster noses'. I don't think the chewing-gum-tube-poster nose stickerer will mind this, as I'm actually expanding on his original concept. He'll probably be quite jealous he didn't think of it.

Unfortunately this poses new problems as I rarely leave London, I have a full time job, and a 5 year old daughter, which limits my travel and social options. This means there's likely to be a lot of tube poster nose stickering at Tooting Bec and Tottenham Court Road - these are my home and work tube stations. And I really feel quite sorry for people who want adventures who don't live on the Northern Line.

So I now have *'A Plan'. I will do my best to put poster nose stickers up myself, but I will also ask others for help. I've cut up my sticker sheets, into 2s and 3s and I will write 'please stick me' on their backs, so that other people can help decorate poster noses wherever they may go. I hope this works. I also hope some people want adventures, or else I wasted £30.79 and 10 minutes of designing time at that automated online printers. We'll just have to wait and see...


*AP? Or do you think I'm going overboard with the acronyms?

Saturday, September 10, 2005

My First Mission


Last night I put my swimming costume on under my clothes, packed a bag that contained my float, a towel, my camera, and a print out of 'my mission', and I met my friend who'd agreed to take a photograph, in accordance with my mission conditions.

'YOUR FIRST MISSION IS TO SWIM IN THE THAMES RIVER ON THE EAST SIDE OF WESTMINSTER BRIDGE AND HAVE SOMEONE TAKE A PHOTO OF THIS WITH THE LONDON EYE IN THE BACKGROUND. EMAIL THE PICTURE TO ME TO PROVE YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED THIS MISSION.'

My helpful friend didn't know anything about IWAA, he just thought I wanted to swim in the Thames. Nor did he ask too many questions, which was good. He probably assumed I knew how to swim, I didn't tell him about failing the 10m Swimming Certificate.

We approached Westminster bridge from the South Bank side, and I was suddenly confused about where the 'East side of Westminster Bridge' was. For some reason I'd imagined my swim would be on the London Eye side, on the side of the bridge furthest away from the South bank. But how could you swim and get a photo of the London eye in the background if this was the case? I'd forgotten to pack a compass, which might have helped me check this out. I don't even own a compass... I know this is bad! Surely every adventurer should have a compass? And probably a rope too. Maybe an A-Z would have helped? I do have one of those, and in hindsight it was obvious that this would always be an important adventuring requirement.

We finally determined where the East side of Westminster bridge was, the most obvious place of course, the opposite river bank from the London Eye.

It had been raining all day and the river looked very full, and fast, and dirty. The sky was cloudy, and it was nearly 8pm, so starting to get dark. I'd hoped there might be one of those little 'beaches' that you sometimes get along the side of the Thames. I'd seen them around the South Bank; but no such luck. On the east side of Westminster Bridge there were just high walls down to the murky Thames. Even if I dared to dive into the river from this great height, getting out again seemed impossible.


It was possible that I could find a place to get out of the water much further down the river, but I really wasn't intending to have a long swim. The water looked extremely choppy and fast flowing, and I should point out that doggy paddle is my preferred swimming stroke; plus I was concerned that I hadn't even tried out my swimming float. I'd only bought it in my lunch hour, the previous day, at John Lewis.

Having realised his important role in the mission my friend was concerned with lining up a nice shot with both the London Eye and a swimming 'me' in the picture. He was worried that in the dark I wouldn't show up. We took a few test shots. But really all this camera distraction was a diversion from our concerns about the scariness of the whole plan.

I suspected my friend quite wanted me to say 'Oh, it's impossible to take a picture in this light, lets go down the pub!'

Instead I was thinking 'It's impossible for me to swim in the Thames without drowning, let's go down the pub.'

When we'd stopped messing about with the camera, and thought about what to do next I realised how much I wanted to do this. I couldn't simply give up and go to the pub! So we started to look more seriously for a way to get in the water.

In front of us was Embankment pier. We'd ignored it before because it was closed and the gate had a clear 'No entry' sign, plus lots of signs about 'No trespassers', and CCTV cameras and such like. But it was just a flimsy little gate, and the pier looked like my best hope of getting in the water. The pier was also too high above the water for any hope of climbing ashore once I was in, but I hoped there might a ladder down to the water.

So we bypassed the flimsy gate and had a look around the pier - no ladder on the London Eye side. Annoyingly there was a ladder at the back of the pier, in the channel between the pier and the riverbank wall. My friend went back to the river side to check if the shot would work from there, but there was no hope of getting a photo of me in the river with the Eye in the background if I was swimming in this channel. I'd have to swim all the way down the channel and then around the pier to get a photo that worked for the mission. In any case the water filtering down the narrow channel was moving very fast, and I suspected that swimming out with my float would be swift, with the river pushing me along, but I was worried about getting back again, swimming against the current to try to reach the safety of the ladder again.




There was a little boat moored at the pier, and our next plan was to look at that. It was a good plan! Climbing onto the boat would clearly get me close enough to get in the Thames. The problem was that this boat was moored right next to Westminster Bridge. I was surprised by how many people there were milling around on the bridge in the evening, lots of people standing on the bridge looking at the river, many tourists taking pictures. I could understand why, Westminster Bridge is right underneath Big Ben. Big Ben, and the river, and the London Eye all looked very pretty lit up in the darkness.

If I swam from the boat I knew I would have quite an audience, but it was my only chance of success. I was just about to climb over the pier walls to jump down onto the boat, when I looked up to see a policeman and woman on Westminster Bridge. They were chatting to some tourists. It was possible the chatty police wouldn't notice me, but someone was bound to see me - and I knew if someone saw me jump into the Thames and there were police officers right there, they'd likely tell them.

So we waited for the police to go, which meant I had chance to get very nervous. I was sure the Thames didn't usually look so deep and dirty, but most worrying was the way it was moving so much. I know river's are never still, but as I watched a little stick float past I realised that for just one second it was right in front of me, but two seconds later it was right down the river and out of sight. I planned to stay very near the boat for my swim, no heading down the river for me. I hoped...

My nervous friend had also noticed the choppy water and brought up the subject of 'fast moving currents', he speculated that the rain had made it worse. Then he started looking at bright orange life rings and said he wanted to have one ready. I told him this was probably worse for him than me, if I died he'd no doubt feel very bad. If I died I wouldn't even care that I looked very stupid doing this, I'd just be dead and stupid and wouldn't care about anything.

The chatting police were taking ages. A police boat went by too, they saw us and must have known that we were trespassers, but didn't prosecute.

I wasn't very worried about the police really. I wasn't doing anything bad, so if they bothered us about it at all I'd likely just get a warning. But the plan was to go to the pub after the swim, not the police station.

The police on Westminster Bridge finally went on their way, and we jumped onto the boat. I didn't want to hang around on the little boat, I didn't need any more getting-nervous time, and it just meant there'd be more chance of someone on the bridge noticing us. So I quickly took my clothes off, grabbed my float, and climbed over the side of the boat and into the water.

I didn't notice the cold, I did notice the current tugging at me, and the sensation of there being nothing at all under my feet. Did I mention that I have a phobia about swimming out of my depth? I was still clinging to the boat with one hand, with the float under my other arm. The float didn't feel good. It didn't seem to be supporting me much at all. I realised I wouldn't trust it to save my life. Interestingly the packaging had suggested that it wasn't to be used for that purpose, I thought that was just packaging talk.

So there I was, hanging on the side of a boat in the Thames, with the lit up London Eye looking pretty behind me. On the bridge I saw a few people pointing at me, but most people didn't seem to have noticed. My friend was taking photos, but it was obvious that he couldn't get the London Eye in the background unless I swam away from the boat. And the mission email had said 'SWIM IN THE THAMES.' But I wasn't swimming - yet.

I hung onto the boat and contemplated what would happen if I let go. I thought it was about a 50/50 shot that I could swim into the river, with my little float, then swim back to the boat and get back safely. The sides of the boat were quite high and I realised I'd need both hands to climb back in, which meant dropping my precious, much-needed, float. But my main worry, as I felt the river flowing around me, was that I'm such a bad swimmer I thought I could end up being buffeted along by the current, then floating down the Thames with my non-life-saving float. And if that happened who knows where I'd end up?

So there I was, in the Thames, suspecting I had a 50/50 chance of completing my mission. And I realised how much I really wanted to complete that mission. I really wanted to complete my mission... But I couldn't do it. If I let go there was too much risk.

I climbed out, got dried, got dressed, got changed, and then we went down the pub.

My friend attempted to reassure me that 'I'd done it', but of course I hadn't! I failed. It might just be a silly email, wanting an adventure might be a ridiculous idea, and swimming in the Thames might be a pointless, comical exercise, but I was so disappointed for it to end like that. As I drowned my sorrows at not being brave enough to risk actual drowning, I contemplated that I felt I'd come close to realising what 'an adventure' was, just for a while there, I thought I understood, and it made sense. But next morning, with a hangover, and work to go to, I realised that I'd just been drunk and stupid.

But even disappointed, stupid, and hungover, I knew I wanted to try again, on a day when it hasn't been raining, and after a bit of swimming practise, and with two floats and maybe some armbands too, and this time I'll bring my compass, and that rope. Actually, that's not a bad idea, I could use the rope to attach myself to something...?

I feel like a fool who ridiculously wants to follow a strangers instructions to get wet and scared, in the name of 'adventure.' 'Adventure' what is that...? And why do I feel that swimming in the Thames on the east side of Westminster bridge with the London Eye in the background will help me find it?

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

So here's the plan...

So you want an adventure? So do I! If you're like me you'll know that you want an adventure, without knowing quite where to start. And if you do want an adventure and know where to find one, well why aren't you out there adventuring instead of reading this?

I think it's hard to think of a personal adventure, there's something about adventures that suggest they should be mysterious, surprising, out of the blue...

So here's the plan. Can you think of an adventure, any adventure? Not for you in particular, but for any random stranger... If you think of something that feels like an adventure to suit you, stop reading this right now! Get out there and be brave, fearless, heroic, or whatever being an 'adventurer' means. Good luck!

Assuming you're still here because you couldn't think of anything that suited you, that's fine. (We'll sort something out for you soon!) So, when you have your adventure idea write it in an email and send it to me@iwantanadventure.com

If you truly want an adventure I also need you to confirm that you are ready and willing to find adventure, to go with it wherever it may lead you, and that you will try to succeed in your mission to the best of your ability.

If you want to tell me a little bit about yourself, or what an adventure means to you personally then that would be good to.

If you write to me I'll be in touch with further details.

How it all started

I first created this web page on Thursday, June 09, 2005. At the time I was in a long term relationship that was no longer feeling good to either of us, I was just about to approach my 36th birthday, my daughter was 5 and enjoying full time school (at last!), I had a well paid job that I enjoyed but which was starting to feel a bit repetitive and unchallenging. So some, or all, of these factors may have contributed to me deciding, quite out of the blue, on the Northern Line between Stockwell and Tooting Bec, that what I really wanted was an adventure! Of course I didn't have a clue what 'an adventure' was. I just really knew I wanted one.

As I contemplated this idea I could only think of a long list of things that weren't an adventure. At least not to me. Holidays to Thailand? Taking up Skydiving? Setting up business of my own? None of these felt right. It could be that I was just the fussiest would-be adventurer on the planet, but none of these things counted as an 'adventure' in my head.

So I asked my friends for ideas, and they all suggested the same sort of things - Vegas or climbing a mountain? No thank you. And I realised that actually finding a suitable adventure was going to be quite a mission in itself. I had a little personal blog that I was enjoying writing, and when I found the blogger.com name 'I want an adventure.blogspot.com' available I felt I had to take it. And the first post here on June 9th simply consisted of me saying 'I'll let you know how I get on with my adventure plans,' and a witty friend leaving a suggestion in the comments section -

Lord Miros said...
How about an anal adventure?

Did I say 'witty friend?'

So not much has changed, this is still where 'I'll tell you how I'm getting on with my adventure plans'. And I still haven't found an adventure. I dismissed Lord Miros's suggestion too.

So it's now September, why a three month gap? Are adventures really so hard to find? You're probably wondering if I'm the slowest adventurer in the world? Well, in my life lots of things have changed since Thursday, June 09, 2005, I've split up with my partner of 11 years, I've moved house, I've been promoted, I've coped with the summer holidays as a full time working Mum, but during all this life chaos one thing hasn't changed at all, one thing I feel now more than ever; 'I want an adventure!'

So, it may well be that I am the worlds slowest adventurer, I do regularly wonder if I'm qualified to be an adventurer at all. My only attempt at finding an adventure in recent months involved terrible planning and the worst timing. At the beginning of July, just a few weeks before leaving my partner and moving to a new house, I decided to place an advert in the Classified section of Time Out, this said, 'I want an adventure! Ideas, suggestions, missions?' and listed my Hotmail email address. I got a few nice responses, most from people who were simply curious, a few from people who seemed to quite fancy the idea of adventuring too. I only had one serious e-mail suggesting an actual mission. 'YOUR FIRST MISSION IS TO SWIM IN THE THAMES RIVER ON THE EAST SIDE OF WESTMINSTER BRIDGE AND HAVE SOMEONE TAKE A PHOTO OF THIS WITH THE LONDON EYE IN THE BACKGROUND. EMAIL THE PICTURE TO ME TO PROVE YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED THIS MISSION.'

This wasn't a good first mission, I can't swim! At school I failed my 10m Swimming Certificate, I can swim a few strokes I admit, but I am still scared to go out of my depth. As I wondered what to do about this email I was confused about the rules of 'IWAA*', and whether I actually 'had to' do this mission! I decided there are no rules, except any rules I made up myself. It was my idea, I could make the rules up as I went along, I didn't need to have any rules at all! I tried to convince myself of all this but somehow I still couldn't bring myself to click 'close' on that email. It was only an email, but it felt bigger than me, I couldn't delete it. Why did I feel I had to do this silly swimming challenge? It was a stupid 'mission', and I was scared I might drown!

So as you can see I am a very flawed would be-adventurer, and sadly, so far, this mission has been uncompleted, this IWAA site has been neglected for months, and I even have some emails I haven't even replied to. It seems highly unlikely that I'll ever succeed at being an adventurer at all, I suspect that most people, you included, would be much better at adventuring than me. I started out thinking, 'I want an adventure!' which was a very selfish statement. I now realise that I don't want to be a flawed, rubbish, selfish adventurer. I might still be rubbish and flawed but at least I don't have to be selfish. I now hope I can use this web page to help other people find the adventures they want. 'I want an adventure! Do you?' is my new tag line. So... Do you? Email ME@IWANTANADVENTURE.COM if you want an adventure too. I will try to reply this time, I promise.

As for my adventures? I do still hope to complete that Thames swimming mission, and I also have another secret adventure plan, it came to me on the tube between Tooting Bec and Stockwell... I'll let you know how it all goes. I hope you'll tell me if you find an adventure too.

*I Want An Adventure. (I thought I needed an acronym.)