Yellow Traffic Lights

It's three months since I split up with my long term partner, and I'm certainly not looking for love. I don't have plans to date, I don't even want to think about another relationship. I don't need to think about love.

I was going to see a movie after work, but had some time to kill before it started so I wandered by the Plaza shopping centre. Everywhere there were posters and leaflets about a 'Traffic Light Dating' event. The idea was that the Thursday late night shopping customers would be given stickers, 'Red for no, amber for maybe, or green for go, go, go!'

As I said I didn't want to think about relationship issues, let alone be forced to make a decision about my love life while I was out shopping. But while you're asking..? Was I a 'yes, a no, or a maybe?' I wasn't sure. If I wasn't a 'yes' or 'no' you might assume I'd be a 'maybe', but I don't agree.

I feel like a 'Yes' in that I miss having someone so much it drives me crazy, but then I feel like a 'No' because I don't want to be crazy, so I have to firmly tell myself 'No'. I'm certainly not a 'maybe', that implies a take it or leave it attitude, but I feel too strongly to just go with the flow. I'm either an out of control 'Yes', or an in control 'No' and I can't be a wavering, inbetween, 'maybe.'

I split up with someone I loved, and I couldn't imagine finding a better person, yet despite all this I was unhappy when I was with him. Somehow I wanted more. Explain that? More what? What did I want... see this blog title? And yes, I know this paragraph isn't a great selling point for the sanity of my 'I want an adventure' philosophy.

The movie I decided to see was Pride and Preducice, which was strange, it wasn't the sort of film I'd go to normally. What was I doing wanting to see an idealistic romantic film? Romantic ideals were surely only hurtful to me in my present state. A friend said he'd come along too, and I told him I wanted to go on my own. Why did I say that? He's a good guy, and I'm hardly in the position to spurn the company of friends.

And why, why, why half way through this predictable, but enjoyable movie, did I start thinking about my silly website? I started to think about the web address vs email address sticker problem, and what I should say in reply to my would-be adventurers's emails. Then I realised that this wasn't what I wanted IWAA to be, dull management deicisions and administrative problems. I really wanted to do something! IWAA! So I started planning my next mission.

I admired the 'Traffic Light Dating' event for its imaginative use of stickers. As you know I like stickers. So I respect the Plaza shopping center's creative use of stickering for it's marketing campaign. Even though I really hated being pinned down to a choice of Red, Yellow, or Amber love options. Surely there should be something more?

So I decided to give Plaza shopping centre customers a fourth choice. They could also choose yellow. My 'IWAA' stickers would be available as an alternative sticker option at the Plaza Shopping Center at 6pm on Thursday.

It also solved the problem of how to get red of 450 stickers before switching to ones with a web address listed.

I'll probably be the only one at the 'Traffic Light' night with a confused display of all four stickers - red, green, amber and yellow. But I really think that sums up my feelings right now.

Yes, no, maybe, or adventure? And what is an adventure anyway? Finding love? Don't be silly.

I've considered what 'an adventure' might mean a lot, and I still don't know. But I haven't really considered why I want one.

Maybe it would be more appropriate for me to wear a large yellow sticker on my chest? A yellow IWAA sticker that completely blocks out those red, green and amber options. I'd like to say I wouldn't wear any of those silly dating stickers at all, but when it comes down to it I know I won't be able to stop myself taking their red, green and amber stickers. Nothing to do with thinking about love at all of course. I don't think about it, as I said. I'll only take them because I really do like stickers.